343 Industries Makes Me Feel Like A Dog

On the night of October 26th, 2015, after watching on YouTube how Halo 5‘s campaign ended, I had to write down how I felt:

Halo 5’s story might as well crumple up Halo 4’s story and throw it in my face.

I feel like what I went through in Halo 4 was for nothing.

No. Actually. It is worse than being all for nothing.

I feel betrayed.

I feel like I got spat in the face and punched in the gut.

In a blog post on Halo HQ, I said that no matter what, Halo 5 wouldn’t piss me off.

Well, 343, Halo 5’s story proved me wrong.

If I had to pick one word to describe Halo 5’s story, it would be “Sadistic.”

There’s 343 standing over me, dangling Halo 6 on a string in front of me like it’s a piece of meat and I’m a dog, saying, “You want to know the rest? Wait for Halo 6…”

Or Halo 7 or Halo 8 or Halo 9 or Halo 10 or who knows how long they’re going to drag this out!

I don’t want to know how the story ends anymore. I don’t want to care. But I just can’t. I can’t not care. And it is that fact, above all, that makes me hate Halo 5’s ending.

To paraphrase Roger Ebert: I hated Halo 5’s ending. Hated hated hated hated hated its ending. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.

More than 7 months later, I’m still upset.

The wound that Halo 5 left was re-opened recently when I heard this:

Watch 11:54 — 12:02:

Compare Frank O’Connor’s words there, to Frank O’Connor’s words here:

Watch 0:00 — 0:40:

And then compare those words to the conversation that Frank O’Connor and Brian Reed have here:

Watch 6:38 — 6:50:

Do you understand why I feel like 343 manipulated me?

Thinking of how 343 manipulated me into thinking that Cortana really was dead, I am reminded of this scene from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s